Top relationship questions as it progresses from a basic date to an amazing partnership

There are a few important relationship questions we need to ask in order to create and maintain them with other people, but also with ourselves.

13 Questions to ask after a first date, to decide if you want to have a second date

We included the following questions here, because only people who are looking for a relationship will be interested in knowing how it felt and if they should continue seeing somebody they just met.

1. Did you enjoy the date and how you described yourself during the date?
2. Were you present or were having your own thoughts about whatever the other person was saying?
3. If you had other thoughts, did the other person notice and playfully let you know about it?
4. Did the other person get to have an idea of who you really are as a person, at least a frame of your personality?
5. Who talked more, or did you take turns?
6. Were they nice to the waiter/waitress or other people around you?
7. Did you feel a positive energy coming your way?
8. Did you feel like you had to force conversations or smiles?
9. Did time pass quickly, or you felt like it’s been forever since you’ve been on this date?
10. Was there a kiss? If yes, how did it feel?
11. Did they ask questions about you or did they presume a lot about who you are? (Did they ask for a middle name, for example) Check our page for early signs of toxic relationships.
12. Did the person check at least some things off your “ideal date” list?
13. Do you want to see them again?

10 Questions to ask after a few first dates

1. What type of relationship you want, that is if you want a relationship?
2. Have you let them know what you want from them?
3. Do you feel like this person has been open to you about their flaws and past?
4. Are they open to negative feedback and constructive criticism?
5. Are you open to negative feedback and constructive criticism?
6. Do you feel like you can trust this person?
7. Does this person seem reliable or has she/he been chaotic and impredictable?
8. Have they acknowledged their family drama and traumas?
9. If yes, have they taken any steps towards healing?
10. Do they take responsibility for their actions? Have all their exes always been the “bad guys” in the story or do they take the blame as well?

Questions to ask before moving from ‘Situationship’ to ‘Relationship’

When trying to define a relationship, we jump head in with a lot of expectations about what a relationship really is and we think that the excitement will solve things up, but that’s rarely the case. Two thirds of couple’s problems are never solved, experts say¹ , so it’s best if we know exactly what we are getting into when starting a relationship.

Some hard questions may save us a few years of heartaches and stomach troubles, so it’s best to ask them as soon as a relationship is discussed.

1. What are your 5-10 year “goals” for this relationship and your professional life? Just like in business interviews, you want to know if you and the other person are in for the same things, or if your professional life may stand in the way. Sometimes people want to move abroad, sometimes people want to travel extensively. Do you have the same plans?
2. Do you want kids? If yes, when? If no, why not? Can this change?
3. Do you want to get married? If yes, when? If no, why not? Can this change?
4. What is their love language? Are they gift givers or they are more about acts of service? What is your love language?
5. How often is too often when it comes to meeting up?
6. Is any of you still talking about your exes a great deal? If yes, maybe you/they still need some time to heal.
7. Are you ready for a relationship? Are they?
8. What are your boundaries?
9. What does emotional cheating looks like for both of you?
10. What does physical cheating looks like for both of you?
11. Are they a workaholic? Are you?
12. How would a typical week look like for you?
13. How is family going to be present?
14. How about house chores, who will be doing the cooking and the cleaning/?
15. Are you happy to have take-out?
16. Do you respect who they are as a human being?
17. Do you constantly feel the need to passively-aggressively make some jokes about something they said or did?

Relationship questions to ask after the first fights

Some films are less romantic than others and suggest finding a partner that you love fighting with, because this is what you are going to do for the rest of your life (if you stick ’till the end, that is) ☺️.

Others just say that if you fight too much, it’s probably because you haven’t found the right partner.

Our opinion: it’s up to you, but there will be no easy relationship out there if you haven’t done enough healing and maturing on your side.

When fighting, you need to be aware of some things that can make or break your relationship?

1. What do you fight about, money, power, communication?
2. How far does the conflict go, do you insult each other or you can keep to the present conflict?
3. Is their unneeded drama or emotional dumping (when they “became vulnerable about something” but then never did anything to solve it and you’re the one who needs to solve it every time, even though it’s their issue)?
4. After the fight, can they say sorry?
5. Can they see things from your angle? If not, can they understand you are a different person to them and you may have a different view?.
6. Can they compromise?
7. Can you two repair the relationship after the fight?

1. John Gottman, relationship expert for 20+ years https://www.gottman.com/blog/p-is-for-problems/